The Little Whore

By day a foreman who drinks beer in his truck

Checking on others as he slowly gets drunk.

By night a terror, a menace, a sinister thing

Molesting a little girl and damaging her being.

Mary Hartman Mary Hartman plays on the tv

When he says come sit with me.

A big, brown leather reclining chair

Is big enough to gather me there.

“Let me rub your back while you rest on my chest”

His hands find their way to my non-existent breasts.

Something hard presses upon my thigh

He releases it and places my hand with sigh.

I knew this was going to happen

I have trained myself to become slacken.

I begin to cry before it’s actually in

Already hoping for a quick end.

I am 7 years old and the routine is habitual

I want to make him stop this nightly ritual.

But I also want someone to love me, you see

And our other times can be heavenly.

Loading up wood or caring for cattle

It’s all done in peace without a battle.

I love how he needs all of my help

He takes me on trips with sweet rewards dealt.

Some candy, some peanuts, a nice cold root beer

Hunting and learning how to dress a killed deer.

Small things really, but I am so hungry for love

I willingly lend him my hand like a glove.

Mary Hartman Mary Hartman is our special show

It’s when he wants to get down to business below.

Now later than 40 odd years

I still cannot stand the smell of stale beer.

I have trouble sleeping or even being in bed

Due to the visions and memories running ‘round in my head.

He got away with it, free and clean

My mother found out, but thought court would be mean.

And now I don’t know whom I despise more

Him, her, or me (the little whore).

17 thoughts on “The Little Whore

  1. Dear Winged Woman,
    If this could alleviate just a little bit the pain of a whole lifetime and your suffering for the loss of Donnie,consider me a brother, please.
    Thank you so much for your lovely poetry and for sharing your deeply healing journey, my sister.
    Love,
    Leon

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your poetry is a joy to read. I love rhyme, and you compose so beautifully. Your story is heartrending, the specific detail you recall. I’m appalled that he got away with it. Please keep writing. I have found it helps to exorcize the demons, in some small way at least. And draw strength in knowing you are not alone

    Liked by 1 person

      • It’s ok! I wanted to comment because the poem is really evocative, but I didn’t quite know what to say. It’s yours, don’t worry about alarming readers (well me, anyway). 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • I should also say that it was difficult because I had somewhat similar experiences. The leather chair. Geez. I didn’t mean to offend you and hope I didn’t with my first comment.

        Like

      • Please, please don’t edit yourself. The real world does that enough for us already. My own ‘About’ page speaks of being censored and banned in the real world. I understand your hesitance. I was physically and emotionally abused as a child but still cannot talk about it. Your piece is so powerful, can speak to so many people who can benefit from what you have to say. Your beautiful blog belongs to you and you alone. It’s the one place in this world where you can express your true self. Unwary passerby’s can keep passing by if they are offended. In this blogging-sphere, no one judges – there is only support and encouragement. You have great courage. Please, continue to honor the survivor in you by sharing, healing and writing.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. I am laid low by the blend of love and savagery in your writing. The life you save may not be your own as you share these words, your pain, and your ultimate victory with your readers. I am going to share with you a link to an almost identical passage I wrote about a member of my family, indeed all of us, experienced that is much like this. I invite you to read it, but be prepared, it to may open up some dark doors for you. But when we shine light into the darkness we’re rob the darkness of its power. Just as you have done in writing this piece.
    http://dlmchale.com/2012/02/21/a-midnight-violation/

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow, thank you for visiting my little blog. I really appreciate your comments and for the link to your poem on the same topic. Your writing did open some dark doors, however they need to be opened…mourning the lost innocence is healing for me and hopefully others who have not been able to put their experience into words. I totally agree that shining light into the darkest places robs the darkness of its power. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your work. (((hugs)))

      Liked by 2 people

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